This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Kids Unite to Cheer On Roller Derby Dad/Bonus Dad

Family forms cheerleading squad at men's roller derby bout.

My boyfriend Stephen, AKA KenEvil #433Bones, has been involved with flat track roller derby since we met about three years ago. At that time, he was a referee for the Arch Rival Roller Girls, the local women's league (see  the amusing and informative blog "" by ARRG player Carrie Carpenter, AKA Shimmy Hoffa, in the Maryland Heights Patch for the inside scoop). In the years since, Stephen became one of the founding players in the local men's league, The Gatekeepers ("Why should the girls have all the fun?"), and is currently a blocker for the South Grand Slammers, one of three teams in the league.

Derby takes a lot of time. Despite its amateur nature, it's serious business to be on a team. There are practices,  promotional events (parades, radio shows), as well as the bouts themselves which involve significant set up time followed by the  obligatory (at least that's what I've been told) after party. Since these leagues are new, and growing them is a grass roots effort, all members of the leagues help out with everything; from laying down the track to cleaning up the garbage after a bout. On a derby weekend when Stephen and I have all five  of our kids, it requires a diplomatic summit for us to determine if it's okay for him to go alone, or if we should all go, or if we should get a sitter.

I needed a new idea the last time we had derby on a kid weekend. We had decided that I would take the kids to see it, since Stephen's kids had expressed interest in watching him play. One of the biggest challenges with planning activities with all five kids is that they seldom all want to do the same thing. The 12 year old isn't always on the same page as the 7 year old, for example. And the boys and the girls often conflict on activites as well. In the case of attending derby bouts, after the first ten minutes, most of the kids get bored. 

Find out what's happening in Maplewood-Brentwoodwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

This time, to get all the kids invested in the bout, I bought five sheets of yellow (one of the Slammers colors) poster board so they could make "Go Slammers" posters. I wasn't sure they'd all buy it, since some are more artistically-oriented than others. As it turned out, my plan worked almost too well. They all wanted to make posters, and did so, but I foolishly did not expect them to be competitive about it. Once they were settled in the dining room with poster board, markers, and paints, someone borrowed someone else's slogan idea ("Got Slammers?"), and you would have thought an arm had been severed with the screaming and crying and gnashing of teeth that occured. Luckily, another idea eventually emerged.

At the bout, all the kids waved their posters from the sidelines most of the time (when they weren't playing duck-duck-goose with the other kids in attendance behind the seating). When the announcer introduced the Slammers players before the bout began, the kids got right up to the track and screamed in support. In the end, only 7-year-old Quinn got tired and wanted to leave before the bout ended (around 10:30 PM), and the oldest two were watching the score with the interest of frustrated fans. When the Slammers lost, my daughter Maya said to KenEvil, "Steve, I want to talk to you about winning."

Find out what's happening in Maplewood-Brentwoodwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

We're gearing up for another bout this weekend, Riverfront Crimes vs. Dogtown Rockets on Saturday night at the Midwest Sport Hockey Complex in Queeny Park. It's an exciting time for the league, because The Gatekeepers travel team just defeated an undefeated (as in never, in their four years of existence) New York Shock Exchange! And although the South Grand Slammers aren't playing this time, Stephen and I will be there helping out. Please come if you're interested in some unusual family fun, and you can't beat the awesome playground right next to the Hockey Complex. Since we don't have kids this weekend, I might get to actually watch this one!

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?

More from Maplewood-Brentwood